How do I start? I think we throw this term soul mates around all the time, without thought. It’s something a lot women dream of. I like to think men do too, but I can’t speak for them. Let me start by saying, I’m agnostic. I simply don’t know what there is out there after we go. I’m a romantic. I like to think that we continue in some way….either through the memory in our loved ones, or as energy moving from one thing to the next…flowers, trees, rain, animals, love. I simply don’t believe in a specific kind of life after death. But I absolutely believe in the power of love. It’s transcendent. It is what makes us more than the sum of our parts. It creates space for miracles.
I sit here with tears as I think of a man that taught my family about this power. I can’t relay this whole love story today. It’s not the time and it’s far too long and amazing in it’s own right. But here is the end. A man who loved his wife for 47 years took his last breath today. Diagnosed with terminal cancer last summer, he was ready to go. He spoke to all of us about his funeral plans in great detail. Including his desire for his favorite piece of music ( Albeniz’s Tango), and his desire for me to dance to this music. At first I was taken aback, and thought yeah right, but he was absolutely serious. So as family gathers, I plan to dance. His wife, lost in fear and anxiety without him, is trying to go with him. And even in his last moments, he tried his best to be her rock. Well beyond what we and his nurse expected, he lay next to her….waiting. He tried not to leave her in her fear, dementia, and loneliness, but waited to see if she was going with him. Here is the note he wrote to her 6 months ago. We found it in his wallet last night.
“My Beloved wife, I want your hand upon my breast as I breathe my life away. For I need you to feel the last beat of my heart, which you will find, has your name graven thereon.”
This may seem strange to the world… but in this world of fear and pain, there is love and joy and hope. Life carries on, and people absolutely give everything they have for the ones they love. Here are both their favorite pieces of music. His Tango and her Clair de Lune.